- Why Take the Love Languages Test?
- The Five Love Languages Test
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
- Frequently Asked Questions About the Love Language Test
Why Take the Love Languages Test?
The Love Languages Test was created by Dr. Gary Chapman, Ph.D., who, based on years of clinical experience, categorized romantic relationships into five distinct “love languages.”
“What is meaningful to one person is meaningless to another… That is why it is important to discover your spouse’s primary love language.”
Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
In a relationship, if both partners speak the same love language, they will feel deeply loved and connected. On the other hand, if their love languages differ, the relationship may feel like two people from different countries trying to communicate in unfamiliar languages.
One partner may sincerely express love, but if their way of showing love doesn’t align with the other’s love language, misunderstandings can arise. This often leads to feelings of being unloved or assumptions that “my partner doesn’t love me anymore.”
The good news is that even if partners have different love languages, they can learn and adapt to each other’s needs.
“Can you learn to speak your spouse’s love language? Of course! Is it easy? Not necessarily. But if you want him/her to feel loved, you will make the effort.”
Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
According to Dr. Chapman’s theory, everyone has a primary love language, which can be identified through a simple test. If your love language differs from your partner’s, making an effort to express love in a way they understand will help them feel truly cherished.
For example, if your partner’s love language is Acts of Service, but yours is Physical Touch, showing love effectively means helping them with chores, grocery shopping, or errands—actions that fulfill their needs and make them feel loved. Conversely, if your partner makes an effort to hold hands or give more hugs, you will also feel valued and appreciated in the relationship.
The Five Love Languages Test
The Love Language test can be taken in written form based on Dr. Gary Chapman’s theory, or you can try the popular “Love Languages Online Test” with your partner for a more interactive experience!
Read the following statements carefully and identify the ones that resonate with you the most.
“The more you know and understand yourself, the more clarity you can bring to your relationships. Self-awareness helps you identify your needs and communicate them constructively.”
This principle is often emphasized in resources from positive psychology and mental health websites like Psychology Today or Greater Good Science Center.
Selection Criteria:
• How do you express love?
• What aspects of a relationship do you frequently complain about?
• What do you often request from your partner or wish they would provide for you daily?
The category that aligns most with your needs and resonates with you the most is likely your primary love language.
If you find that you strongly connect with two or more love languages, go through the process again and narrow it down until you are left with one or at most two that you cannot separate.
Words of Affirmation
• Hearing affirmations from my loved one makes me feel loved.
• I enjoy receiving little notes filled with compliments and words of affirmation.
• I love hearing my partner tell me that I’m beautiful, charming, or graceful.
• I appreciate when my partner praises my achievements.
• Kind words from my loved one mean a lot to me.
• I cherish my partner’s compliments and try to avoid their criticism.
• When my partner says something special to me on my birthday, I feel loved.
• I enjoy receiving compliments from my partner about my appearance.
• Hearing my partner express gratitude makes me feel loved.
• I need daily words of affirmation, such as my partner appreciating my efforts.
• I love hearing my partner thank me.
Quality Time
• I like visiting my loved ones and spending time with them whenever possible.
• I enjoy one-on-one time with those who hold a special place in my heart.
• I love going on outings with my loved one.
• Simply being with my loved one makes me happy.
• I enjoy doing activities together with my partner.
• I feel close to my partner when we chat or do things together.
• I love when my partner listens attentively and shows genuine interest in what I say.
• Going shopping or traveling with someone special makes me happy.
• I appreciate eye contact when talking with my partner.
• I’m grateful when my partner listens patiently without interrupting me.
• I enjoy feeling cherished by my partner.
Gifts
• I love receiving gifts.
• When someone I love or admire gives me a gift, I feel loved.
• Physical symbols of love (gifts) are important to me.
• I cherish gifts from my loved one.
• Many small gifts move me more than one big present.
• I appreciate receiving gifts from those who are important to me.
• A birthday gift from my partner makes me feel loved and valued.
• When my partner gives me a gift, I know they were thinking about me.
• I feel loved when my partner remembers special occasions and gives me a gift.
• I’m delighted when my partner gives me a gift for no special reason.
• I always treasure the gifts my loved one gives me.
Acts of Service
• When my partner helps me with something practical, I feel loved.
• I feel loved when my partner does things for me.
• My partner’s actions speak louder than words.
• When my partner goes out of their way to do something for me, I feel deeply loved.
• Acts of service from my partner make me feel loved.
• I feel loved when my loved one helps me complete a task.
• I appreciate the effort my special someone puts in for me.
• I enjoy feeling cared for by my partner’s actions.
• When my partner helps with household chores, I feel loved.
• Knowing that my loved one cares for me through actions like running errands or doing chores makes me happy.
• I feel loved when my partner enthusiastically does what I ask.
Physical Touch
• I feel loved when my partner touches me.
• I enjoy being hugged.
• When someone I love or admire puts their arm around me, I feel loved.
• I like high-fiving or holding hands with someone special to me.
• Frequent physical touch from my loved one makes me feel close to them.
• Hugs make me feel connected and valued.
• I love when my partner brushes against me on purpose as they pass by.
• It feels wonderful when my loved one touches me.
• I need physical touch every day.
• I enjoy holding hands, hugging, and kissing my closest loved ones.
• I feel secure when someone special to me touches me.
Frequently Asked Questions About the Love Language Test
Q: Do both partners need to have the same love language? Would it be more meaningful to take the test together?
A: Yes! In a relationship, understanding each other’s love language and “speaking” it effectively leads to the best results.
Q: Can my love language change over time?
A: Yes, it can. A person’s love language may shift due to life experiences, changes in environment, or personal growth. That’s why it’s recommended to retake the test with your partner periodically.
Q: Is it possible to be fluent in three or more love languages?
A: According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s theory, every person has one primary love language and a secondary one. If your test results show more than two dominant love languages, you may need to analyze them further following the selection process.
Mindy
Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology, Licensed Clinical Psychologist (License No. 2802).
Mindy has completed clinical training in psychiatric and child mental health departments in hospitals. She specializes in psychodynamic therapy, psychodrama, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Passionate about promoting psychological knowledge, she serves as a psychology content consultant and mental health seminar speaker.
